E112: How to Share IBC with Others and Overcome Hurdles

Nate: You want to share the message of infinite banking with those around us, but if you’ve ever tried to, it’s not the easiest thing to do. In this episode, we will discuss the best ways for you to introduce your family and friends to the infinite banking concept. She’s Holly and she helps people find financial freedom.

Holly: He’s Nate, he makes sense out of money. This is Dollars & Nonsense, if you follow the herd, you will be slaughtered.

Nate: All right. So, today on this episode, we’re going to dive into something that many of my clients have asked me for. And so I guess if you’re new to this podcast, if you’re new to the concept that we are focused on here at Dollars & Nonsense, the infinite banking content, maybe this episode is not the ideal one to start with, because we’re really going to be picking up on a few assumptions that you’ve been listening for quite some time.

But with that being said, because this concept is not the easiest concept in the world to share, it can be a little bit difficult to talk to other people about it, especially let’s say your spouse or your friends or your family. Do you think it’s going to help them? And we always liked to refer people to different things that we think is going to help them. So if you think infinite banking can help somebody, it’s very common to want to talk to them about it, and if you’ve ever tried it, then you’ve notice, maybe it’s not the easiest thing to win people over too.

So that’s really what we’re going to try to delve into today is, what are we doing? How can we do it? What’s the best way to do it, to open up concept of infinite banking? Holly, just quick question, by the way, who was the first person you had to share IBC with?

Holly: It was my husband. My own spouse, I mean-

Nate: Isn’t that the way for most people, by the way, just the spouse is like the first project. One spouse learns about it, we got to get the other spouse on board.

Holly: It is. And it’s like that… I think my husband, for the longest time, in the beginning, it was, keep it simple, and to the point, and for ever, Nate, he thought it was, where’s the catch? Where’s the… And it was more about explaining, keep it simple and basic, and then let’s try this was something that we want to purchase or buy, really. So it was a, we’re going to do this thing, but we were going to have to see how it works and plays out. So, he had to have a little bit of faith in what, I’m going to say, I was doing and telling him, but he also had a little bit of blind faith, but he also had… he’d trusted or seen the concept work in, I’m going to say, my dad’s life from my parents’ life, or that, so he was able to actually know, he’s seen it work, so can we duplicate it, kind of?

Nate: Yeah. I mean, that’s just a great point to make that some people are like, “Well, I can see infinite banking working for you or this person, but will it really work for me?” And that’s really the most important thing to get across to people is that infinite making really does apply, because we all deal with money, money flows through our hands, infinite banking applies to all of us, because it’s simply how you move money around. That’s what banking is. Money has to move from one place to another. And the question is, how much of that do you control and how much of that process profits you and how much of that process profits other people. And so that’s the core message of IBC, how can we get people to understand that it’s something to look into that’s going to benefit them?

So, I guess that’s really step one, Holly. I think the biggest mistake most people make when they’re trying to introduce IBC to someone else, is they get into the details way too fast, and immediately people get confused or they think it’s too complicated to even investigate or something of that nature. So, I would say, the first recommendation I would have, if you’re talking about introducing it to your spouse, or you’re going to go to some party and you’re talking to your friends, my first suggestion is don’t make a mistake, number one. Which is, get too much into the weeds of the life insurance policy, of the policy loan mechanics, of the paid-up additions rider, all of these sorts of things that as you delve deeper into IBC become very important to you, and they help flesh out the logic behind the concept. You don’t want those to be in an initial conversation with somebody.

Step number one has to be to get them interested enough to delve in deeper. So let’s start there. How can we do that? How can we help people get interested enough to delve deeper, but not spend too much or give too much information where we’re going to scare somebody away or confuse them right off the bat?

Holly: Well, I think, Nate, one of it, like we’ve said, you got to keep it simple and indirect. It’s not a 45 minute conversation. I think that that’s one of the biggest mistakes, but the other thing is, is you have to take something that’s practical, in my opinion, of where they’re at. My dad would always use this analogy, and I use it a lot now when I talk, but it’s, basically, we want to teach you how to keep your money and stop giving it to everybody else. But you have to say, whether they be in, I’m going to say, when I say simple, you want to use where they’re at, whether it be, have you bought your last car? Or do you want to know how to get all the money back from every car you purchased from here on out?

Or if they’re in credit card debt, do you want to learn how you can get out of that credit card debt and pay yourself? It’s the simplicity of that simple, not I’m going to tell you all of that. It’s do you want to learn this? Are you interested in knowing how money works even, or how to control your money? It’s sentences like that. And then after that, I say, then it’s the matter of, “Well, if you want to learn how to do this, you have to give them the next step.” It’s not your job to explain what it is, then let them, if they want to go learn that or say, “Hey, maybe I’m interested in that.” Give them the resource that then they can go discover that for themselves.

Nate: I think that’s a great point. Yeah. And I think one of the things you mentioned too, is really key. The more you know… The closer… Most of the people who refer people to us or want to introduce this concept of people, typically, you’re talking about spouses, parents, siblings, close friends, that’s the most… I mean, I’m assuming… if you’re a podcast listener, those are the people that come to your mind. When you learn this concept and you really start to enjoy it, and you want other people to know about it, those are the first people that come to your mind. Those also tend to be people, fairly well. So, I think Holly’s right, if you really do want them to take a look at this, the more you know about what they’re doing in their financial world, typically, the better chance you’ll find something that’s going to interest them.

So, as Holly mentioned, if they have credit card debt, you could say, “Hey, there’s an interesting and innovative way to get out of that. This is how you can do it.” And not getting into the details of infinite banking, but handing them a resource, which we’ll get into for stage two, I guess, in just one second, before I wrap this up. But the other thing I was thinking, if you know that they like to invest money in real estate or something like that, you can let them know, “Hey, do you want to know how to make more money every time you make an investment in a property? There’s actually a way that you can improve your profits.” Same thing goes of, if someone hates making car payments or wants to pay off their mortgage quickly, infinite banking is just a systematic way to accomplish, really, almost anything you want in life, and to improve whatever it is that you’re doing.

So, whenever you’re meeting with somebody or you want to introduce this to somebody, knowing what they’re already doing can be very helpful, because you can, as Holly said, tailor it to them. You can say, “Hey, I know you struggle with this or I know you’re interested in this, I found a new way to be able to do it that makes me more money, or that makes me… allows me to do it faster or be in more control,” or something like that. And that should be able to get you to the next stage, which, actually, that’s all we’re trying to say is, whenever you first want to introduce this, the less information you give them, typically, the better. Because what we’ve found is that, if you spend a lot of time going into the weeds of infinite banking, they’re going to lose focus, they’re going to think it’s not for them, or they’re going to have some sort of preexisting idea of it that might push them away.

So the goal of your first… of introducing IBC to somebody, is to be simple, direct, benefit focused, these are the things that it can do. And especially if you know what they’re actually needing in life or what their financial picture is missing or what they’re trying to accomplish and how infinite banking can help them. But really the whole goal of that introduction, and this where Holly and I’ve been leaning, the whole goal is to get them to take a step, to learn it on their own, not just sit with you and learn it directly from you, but it’s to figuring out on their own. So we think that the introduction needs to lead… The whole goal of it is to get them interested enough to do something which is, typically, to read Nelson Nash’s book, Becoming Your own Banker.

That’s the tried and trued way that we’ve been doing for 20 years, is get that book in somebody’s hand, get them interested enough to read it, and let the book teach them and describe to them what it’s going to do. The other alternatives is to get them to subscribe to this podcast or to go out and take our free beginner’s course online. But essentially, your job, as Holly said, is not to teach them and sell them on infinite banking, it is just to introduce them to it, and let the resource do the teaching itself, because it’s built to be able to do that coherently.

Holly: And I think that’s one of the keys, Nate, is when we get so excited about something, sometimes we let that excitement take over, and it’s like, “I want to share all the information I know and I have with you, so you can be excited as I am.” And in reality, what I’ve found is, when you’re trying to sell somebody something, because that’s what they feel like you’re doing, then it’s often a bigger turnoff than just saying, “Hey, if you do want to learn more about this, here are the resources available to you. Here’s some great avenues that you can use, whether it be…” And that’s one of the keys is knowing what they like. If they enjoy reading, maybe it is referring a book or something, but if it’s they listened to podcasts or they do that, then referring it to the podcast or hey, they want to do it online in some short steps, the beginner’s course.

But the reality is, you know that person, probably, very well, but don’t be upset or disappointed when they’re not as excited as you, because you’ve done that research. So you know it now, let them have that experience of finding out what it is, so that they can share your excitement with you.

Nate: Yeah, I agree. And I think some people who may… people may come to your mind, but you may not want to open up this can of worms, because you think you don’t know it enough yourself to be able to teach them about it. I would say… I mean, first off, we are so grateful for the clients that we have, and how so many of them send business our way, send people that are close to them our way, that just speaks to the trust they have with us. And honestly, we don’t take that for granted. We’re very thankful for it. But that’s one thing that we do encourage is, it’s easy to introduce somebody to IBC, it’s more difficult to teach them, which is why, by the way, one of the things that Holly and I don’t really enjoy doing is having people refer their friends and family to us, to meet with, and we get on the phone with them, and it’s almost like a cold call.

It’s like, they actually have no idea who we are, and they have done nothing on their own to learn about IBC, and Holly and I will both say, nowadays, we don’t meet with somebody, personally, if they have not done their own research using some of the things that we want to do, whether that’s the podcast, they must have listened to quite a few episodes, they would have to have either taken our beginner’s course or read Nelson Nash’s book. If they haven’t done one of those three things on their own, I’m actually not interested in meeting with them, because I don’t feel like it’s my duty to teach them everything about IBC.

Everything that they need to know can be consumed before they meet with us, because it shouldn’t be your obligation, it shouldn’t be my obligation to teach everybody from step A to step Z. I’d rather pick it up, the conversation, and help them see how it can apply to them better, as opposed to spending four or five hours with every single person that comes our way, just to teach them the basics of IBC, which they should already know coming in.

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Holly: And then, I think that one of those points, too, is, it’s not just about teaching or educating them, but when they know nothing about this concept or really anything that even Nate and I do in life, our belief is we’re educating, we’re teaching, we’re training, we want you to have knowledge. And we say a lot on this podcast, do your own research. We want you to take some ownership. You have to have ownership in what you want to do, in order to be able to proceed. Or else what it feels like, and this is me and I hate this, I would never call myself a salesperson. I’m not a salesperson. That’s not even in my DNA or my makeup. And when I get somebody that, basically, knows nothing, I feel like I’m trying to sell them on a concept that they felt like they were obligated to call me or talk to me, because a friend wanted him to. I hate it, Nate. I hate it.

Nate: I do too. I don’t like selling either. And those of you who are my clients, probably know I’m actually not very good at it. I’m a teacher through and through. And you’re right, if someone comes to me and they haven’t done research, they come in worried that I’m going to try to do some sort of sales tactic with them to get them to buy something that they end up not wanting to do. And you know what doesn’t happen that way is, hey, if they are educated and they know what it is they’re getting into and they want it, then I don’t actually see my… I’m more of a facilitator. I’m a coach. I help stir them on. I give them advice. I counsel them. Many of my clients would know, I’m here to do that and offer advice and various things. That’s really what I want to be.

I don’t want to try to convince anyone that this is the right path for them. And so, if you’re listening to these podcasts and you’re on the fence about infinite banking, if you want to call Holly or me, that’s fine, but I’m telling you, if you’re on the fence before you call, you’re probably still going to be on the fence after. We’re not here to trying to persuade you and kick you over the other side, we pretty much are here to counsel and offer advice, especially to those that really want to do it.

Now, if you have questions, and by our answers to those questions, will kind of determine where to go, that’s fine too. But just know that were not really interested in meeting with someone before they’ve done their own research, before they understand it pretty well, before they end up doing it. That way, we don’t really feel like we have to sell anybody on anything. We’re just here as the facilitator, as the consultant in this, to help them achieve some goals they want to do and offer advice in certain areas.

But certainly, I agree, Holly, it’s not a part of the job I enjoy is the sales side of things. So I’ve tried to build the process to get me away from having to sell. I’d rather just talk to people who are interested, based on the podcast and the course and Nelson’s book and so forth. I don’t really want to speak with someone who is worried that I’m out to get them or something like that.

Holly: I think that’s the key, Nate, is we’re here to coach, like Nate said, we’re here to champion you. We’re here to help you in regards to, hey, what about this or this? Our biggest desire is to help you benefit and grow your own wealth and legacy, and to be able to do that and facilitate it. Honestly, if you refer somebody and you think Nate and I are going to sell them on it, we won’t. In fact, I don’t even meet with those people anymore. If they haven’t… And I’m going to put this out there, if you haven’t done your own research and you haven’t listened to some podcasts or read Nelson’s book or even gone through our beginner’s course, it’s one of the very first questions I even asked before I let you even schedule on my calendar. And if by chance you happen to be able to schedule own my calendar and you haven’t done that, I end the meeting, because there’s no point. I mean, it’s a four or five hour read to really read Nelson’s book through and really read it.

I want you to have that time to do it, or listen to three, four, five, six, seven podcasts to really understand what we’re talking about. But when I am having to educate you, and I say, educate you, I feel like I’m not even educated, I’m trying to convince you to do something you don’t really know if you want to do. It’s not my cup of tea. It’s not even what I desire for you, because I should never have to convince somebody to do something. It needs to be your decision and a desire you want to do to move forward.

Nate: Yes, I agree. Yep. I mean, that just goes back to the very beginning. If you are listening to this and you’re already in love with IBC, and you’re trying to share this with people, if you give away too much information, you’ll confuse people and they’ll think you’re trying to convince them to do something. No, just introduce them to it, in a simple way. Maybe if you can relate to them based on where you know their financial position is at, go ahead and do that, but make sure they get the resource. The resources are objective, they’re not salesmanship. They’re not targeted to them. There’s no decision being made. They’re just… You just need to make sure they get a resource from an objective place like our course, or specifically, even Nelson Nash’s book may be the most objective, because it’s not even tied to someone who would ever sell them anything.

At the Nelson Nash Institute they’re not salesmen themselves. So go ahead and give them… Have them buy the book. That’s not even attached to a company, produced by a company that’s going to sell them a thing. That way they can learn it on their own and decide whether or not they want to take the next step. I would say the same thing goes for those of you who feel like you have some people who you’re interested in, whether it’s your spouse or your friends or your siblings or your parents or somebody like that, don’t feel like you have to be an expert in IBC and be able to answer all their questions, just to introduce them to it, and hand them the resource.

Here’s what we found. If the person who you’re interested in introducing IBC to will not take the time or doesn’t trust you enough to go out and do the resource you’ve suggested that they take advantage of whether it’s Nelson Nash’s book or the beginner’s course or the podcast or something like that, I wouldn’t waste time. Don’t try to get people to do what they don’t want to do. That’s one way I’m going to live my life. If you’re not interested, then don’t do it. I’m not here to convince you to do it.

Some of you listening to this, probably, are way better salespeople than I am. And so you’ve helped a lot of people who kicked against it for a little while. Some of you listening probably have kicked against IBC for a long time, but what got you over the hump, it was learning more and more about it. That’s what gets people over hump. As they learn more and more about it, they realize it’s not very crazy. It makes a lot of sense. It’s backed by logic and math, and it can work for them.

That’s really where you want them to get is simply to the research and education phase as quickly as possible. But you want to be able to make sure that they do it in the right way. They can’t just go Google it and expect to get perfect information. Give them a resource that can help them lay a good foundation without getting into the Google weeds, where we know there’s so much things, even produced by people who say that they’re infinite bankers, that they’re just not very good, and they’re not true IBC guys. So you want to try to stay away from just saying, “Hey, go look this up randomly.” You want to actually point them in a resource that you trust to give them a good understanding of IBC.

Holly: If you have to convince them and work really hard to get them to do it, I would tell you, go ahead and back off, let them have their space. And if they want to, they will. But the more I feel like people try and… I said, this last night, Nate, I said, “The more you try and convince somebody to do it, I feel like the more resistance you get, because it’s not their decision. They’re trying to do something to either appease you or they just do it to get you off their back.”

So back off, if somebody doesn’t want to do it, that’s okay. I think you have to be okay with, if somebody’s not comfortable or they don’t want to do the research or they’re not interested, be okay with that and move on.

Nate: You know the cream rises to the top without any help. Just find the people who have… I mean, I think this has been an answer to prayer to some people, I’m sure some of the listeners here. IBC is kind of a movement. I mean, it produces believers in this concept is really what it does. I’m one of them. I firmly believe in the principles of IBC. It’s not exactly just like a quick investment. That’s also partly why it’s a little bit difficult. It’s kind of easy to go out and preach, “Hey, I found this guy who sells real estate to flip. If you put money in, you’ll probably make a quick return.” I mean, there’s a little bit of gamesmanship or salesmanship in that, but it’s not very much, there’s not much education going on, you’re just trying to get a quick return.

But infinite banking really is more of a way of life, and so people need to buy into the system, the process of IBC. And once they understand that it works through the education that they take, that’s really when the light bulb clicks on and they say, “Okay, we know this is a good thing to do.”

So just introduce them to it, not to sell them on it, and to understand that it’s a process, not a product. So you’re not out there… It’s not just a quick little, “Hey, I liked that t-shirt on a Facebook ad.” I’ll go ahead and buy it. There’s going to be a little bit more time, and those who are willing to spend the time to do it, will probably enjoy it. And those who are not willing to spend the time to look into it, they’re probably just not in a place in their life to be interested in right now, which is fine. Don’t force them to be, you’ll certainly turn them away.

Holly: I couldn’t have said it better, Nate.

Nate: Sounds good. Anything else? Any last words on how you can help people get involved in infinite banking, those that you it would help you?

Holly: You approach the topic, like we said, short to the point or simple, something that you know they’re passionate about, and don’t ever explain, and then the resources, direct them to a resource. Maybe it’s a resource you found useful, or maybe it’s a resource that is more geared to their interest, and direct them that way. We’ve always said, “If they’re not… If it didn’t cost you anything,” and what I mean, not just monetarily, but even time, time is value and it’s money. So if it didn’t cost you anything, there’s always this feeling of what’s the catch? What’s going on? Instead of, it should cost you something even the time and energy to do the resource.

So, hey, Nelson Nash’s book, there’s a free download book on our website. There are the podcasts. There is the free beginner’s course, all of those things are great resources. So you want to know what resources are out there, when you’re going to present it to somebody. If they ask you, “Well, how do I learn more?” And you go, “Um, I don’t know,” that’s a pitfall, so-

Nate: Yeah. The whole goal of introducing someone to it is then to just simply get the resource in front of them. That’s actually the whole goal. Let that do the talking, let that do the selling, let that do the educating, not you. Because most of you, unless you’re doing this full time, and even if you are, as Holly and I said, we don’t even want to do that. So, if you’re doing it full time, it’s not something you want to spend your time doing, anyway, there’s better things. It’s kind of like… One thing I would mention is your whole goal of introducing them and getting them to move forward with it, is based on the letting them know that it’s a process, it’s a strategy. It’s kind of like if you were to tell someone to go invest in a stock, you just go out and say, “Hey, I think this stock is going to go up. You should put some money into this stock or this Bitcoin or whatever it is.”

There’s one way to do to sell an investment or sell a product. There’s another thing to do to say, “Hey, I took this guy’s course on trading stocks, and I have followed his advice, and I’ve seen huge returns and huge improvements, ever since I took this course and followed his advice. I think you should take this course and follow its advice.” That’s a totally different environment than that person’s going to consider it in. It’s not some sort of little product or get rich quick thing. It’s, “Hey, he’s teaching me a skill or a process, a strategy.” And that’s really what infinite banking is. It’s not… Don’t go out and tout the benefits of whole life insurance and all sorts of things, no, what we’re trying to teach is how to become your own banker using dividend paying whole life insurance.

And they have to understand that it is a strategy that they can implement to start making more money as a banker. So, if they come into it knowing, hey, I’m going to go take this resource to learn about this strategy. I think that will make them less concerned that you’re just trying to sell them or that you got tricked or something like that. And more like, “Okay, yeah, this is a strategy that I can learn and see if it’s right for me.” And typically, when they go through it, as most of you would say in the podcast, “The more you learn about it, the more it makes sense. And the more likely it is, you’ll do it.” As always, this has been Dollars & Nonsense, if you follow the herd, you will get slaughtered.

Holly: For free transcripts and resources, please visit livingwealth.com/e112.

Announcer: Dollars & Nonsense Podcast listeners, one more thing before you go, ease your worry and start your journey towards security today, visit livingwealth.com/secretbanking. You’ll gain instant free access to the special one hour course Holly and Nate made for you. Again, that’s livingwealth.com/secretbanking.